Updated: Jul 18
Today I want to talk about how to reset your mindset so that you’re not defaulting to a negative emotional state.
When we default to a negative state of being we try to control “the how” of manifestation to ease our anxiety. Ultimately, this leads to limited success and a bruised ego (agh). Or, it may “convince you” that manifestation doesn’t work all together (all or nothing!). This is why doing the work on your mindset is so important; this work sets the stage on how successful you can be with manifestation.
What Determines Your Mindset?
Your mindset drives your emotions, which drive your thoughts, which drive your behaviors, and this is your manifestation machine at work. It’s a cycle of mindset > emotions > thoughts > behaviors. Repeat.
When your thoughts are always negative, this impacts the entire cycle. You will continue to repeat this cycle until you make a conscious change.
Most of us have fallen victim to our own negative mindset at some point.... which (surprise!) can create an undesirable reality—like it or not. The mindset is the foundation of what you’re manifesting; the primer for the life you’re creating.
If you’re anything like I was (ahem, a recovering perfectionist over here), you might also let anxious or negative thoughts come up repetitively. SO repetitively, that they can become our DEFAULT. When these negative thought patterns appear as our default setting, we love "protecting" ourselves by controlling the things around us. You know, because that is obviously the healthiest and most logical choice! Haha. And even though this rarely works in our favor, we keep trying to control “the how” as we seek safety from the negative thoughts we experience.
To let go of “the how” you have to begin with the foundation of that anxiety—the mindset (and no, there isn't a quick fix). If you’re not in the right state of mind, you will crave control to counteract your negative thoughts. Even though this post helps guide you toward letting go of “the how”, we’re not going to talk about that specifically. You will naturally let go of “the how” when you cultivate a higher vibration and get closer to joy; a mindset with a positive default setting. Let’s talk about how to get you there, but first, a few words of encouragement:
Working on your mindset can feel really overwhelming at first. Your thought patterns are long-established habits that just feel like “you”. It’s just who you are…. Right? But consider whether these patterns are indicative of “who you actually are”, OR, if it’s the “you” you were conditioned to be by external sources. Many of us watched how everyone around us responded to events growing up, and we have a tendency to adopt versions of these behaviors for ourselves later in life. Are these thought patterns really your own? How many people in your life were manifesting the things they wanted? How many were positive people by default? For most of us, few to none.
My family members were so negative growing up, that I thought all “genuinely” positive/happy people were faking it. I believed they couldn’t possibly be that positive; then I would see those people have so much success and I’d get angry. I’d think things like, “Agh. They’re so positive and peppy and they always get what they want. How annoying”. But here is the thing... they knew something I didn’t. They knew the importance of a consistently positive mindset—And it was working for them.
Changing Your Default Mindset
You will learn how to let go when you begin to change the way you think. As Dr. Wayne Dyer always said, “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change”. Changing your mindset is the single most important step you can take to become a master manifester. While there are so many things that make-up your mindset, let’s focus on one of the most important factors: controlling your default response, your most practiced habits.
Your default response, or your thought patterns/habits, were formed by a set of neural pathways that work together to create your overall mindset. These pathways were formed by repetitive electrical messages traveling across the brain over and over again, deepening the crevices every time the pathway was exercised. Biologically, this process allowed humans to survive longer since pessimism, anxiety, and suspicion made us more aware and skeptical of the threats around us. These behaviors benefited us for so long that we’re programmed to keep them; they might keep you from going out at night and getting eaten by a bobcat. Over time, evolution has rewarded our negativity so it is nothing to be ashamed of. And, this mindset is antiquated and no longer serves us, so we might as well part ways with it!
So what can we do? We know creating new and more positive responses is possible based on the research of neuroplasticity, but it takes repetition and conscious decision making over a period of time. To accomplish this, you will have to be cognizant of your reactions as they happen AND redirect the reaction in a positive way as best you can.
The more we exercise our positive responses, the more we reinforce our new habit. And as you consciously exercise this new habit, you will wear in a new neural pathway. With enough repetition, this neural pathway will become deeper than the negative response pathway. Over time, this will create a NEW default setting, or mindset.
This process of change will be hard at first. If you’re like I was, it can feel like every other thought you have is negative. It can feel overwhelming to tackle your anxiety or pessimism if they've been riding shotgun for years. But, the process of changing your mindset gets easier. When you begin this process, it won’t feel like it’s making a difference AT FIRST. To measure your success, find a way to track your progress over time so you can gauge your effectiveness. Start by giving yourself a score, "On a scale of 1-10, how negative was I today?", then wait about a month and score yourself again. Keep doing this every month and you will notice how your overall mindset begins to improve!
Breaking the Cycle through Awareness
Here is how this works in real time so you can recognize how to break this vicious cycle: something happens externally and you immediately experience a negative or anxious thought in response. Stop yourself in the middle of this thought and replace it with a better feeling thought, a more positive thought. When you experience negative habits, which will happen a lot at first, don’t give these thoughts any more energy. Do not feed into them and concentrate on how bad you feel for having these thoughts—this is deepening that negative neural pathway. And, and, and, and…. do not beat yourself up for having these thoughts to begin with. Remember, it's your conditioning that’s caused these thoughts, not you. If you want to blame anything, blame evolution (haha)! When the negative thoughts come, notice the negativity from an analytical perspective, do not feed into it, and instead think “I do not actually believe this thought because of XYZ. I choose to believe….. [insert more positive feeling thought]”.
A few years ago I was having a roughhhh week. There were a lot of issues at work with a particular coworker, I totaled my car, we had to get a new washer for the house, the power went out for a day as I was painting the living room in the middle of the summer…. You know the kind of week I’m talking about! Immediately I thought, “well isn’t this just my f***ing luck. Of course the power went out! Why wouldn’t it?! It’s the cherry on top of this whole week. Nothing is going right for me today.” Right then and there, my candle blew out too. Sitting in darkness finally brought me some perspective, “These are not the kind of thoughts I want to have anymore. And, this idea that everything is going wrong is not true. There are SOME things going right for me. Here are all of those things that ARE going right for me….[and I listed them].” After reminding myself of all the good things going on. I started over with a new version of this thought, “Things haven’t been great this week, but there is something for me to learn in all of this. These things happened the way they did for a reason I can’t see yet. The Universe is always working for me when I’m aligned with my highest self. I am always on the right path. I choose joy.” I felt better INSTANTLY… regardless of the circumstances surrounding me.
Moral of the story? You can’t always control external conditions around you, but you can control your reaction to them. AND, the more you ACTIVELY choose to feel good, the more your vibration will rise to align with goodness and joy over time. But this takes practice, time, and consistency... I say this for my fellow instant gratification seeking perfectionists out there. ;) #same
It's important to remember that the process of resetting your mindset is not about nailing positive thoughts every day; it's about consciously choosing more positive thoughts, more often than not.
Notice your negative thought(s), stop in the moment, reset your thinking, and restart with a better FEELING thought, repeat. That’s it. Notice > Stop > Reset > Restart. Do this as many times as it takes to develop this practice. Progress over perfection.
As a reminder, letting go of “the how” will come naturally when you develop more positive habits Resetting your negative mindset will happen when you mindfully watch your thought patterns and behaviors, notice when you’re falling into a negative habit, and gently redirect yourself toward a more positive thought again and again until the positive thought becomes the default setting, or the deeper neural pathway.
Thank you so much for reading! If you enjoyed this topic, check out my other post on the Emotional Guidance Scale by Abraham Hicks. Using this scale, we will continue this mindset discussion and talk about what to do when you’re stuck in a negative emotion.
Have a fantastic rest of your week, and I will catch y’all next Monday! Until then, go out there and manifest some miracles.
Check out this discussion in podcast form:
Additional Resources Mentioned
Dr. Wayne Dyer, Website