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What Does Self Care Actually Look Like?

Hello my beautiful souls!


Welcome back to the Modern Manifestation blog. Feel free to listen in to today's topic in the podcast.


Today we are talking about a topic that I’m having to RE-learn for myself, self care.


Both fortunately and unfortunately, social media has a lot of people talking about self care. However, it’s also led to a misinterpretation of what self care really is.


So let’s talk about it.


What is self care?


Self care is not the same thing as seeking comfort.


Self care means doing something that supports your highest good, or something that nourishes you in some way.


Not comfort, nourishment.


Yes, sometimes this looks like getting a massage, taking a day off, or heading to the park. And, sometimes self care can be something that causes us discomfort. Yes, you read that correctly!


The reason I make this distinction is because selfcare has been grossly misunderstood by social media. People will post things like, “I should be working out, but I’m choosing Netflix instead #selfcare” or “Today I’m ignoring my haters because #selfcare”.


Don’t get me wrong, sometimes these things are self care because they’re what we need to nourish ourselves IN THAT MOMENT. Maybe you injured yourself the day before, or you’re menstruating so choosing Netflix over a workout IS self care. Or maybe you feel mentally abused by your haters, so you need to tap out for a bit.


What I’m talking about, specifically, is the mistake we make when we confuse self care with comfort. In other words, we’re not working out because we don’t feel like it. Or, we’re “ignoring our haters” because we’re fear confrontation, so we choose to ignore and avoid.


More often than not, selfcare is doing the thing that makes us UNCOMFORTABLE. It’s doing the thing that makes us experience discomfort in order to get us closer to where we REALLY want to be.


In other words, self care is prioritizing your NEEDS above your WANTS. Not taking the easy route because it feels good, and comfortable, in that moment.


Self care might look like:

  • Choosing to cook a meal at home instead of going out

  • Choosing to journal over scrolling social media

  • Reading a book at night instead of watching Netflix

  • Standing up for yourself in a toxic relationship

  • Responding to that accusatory email you got from an unhappy client immediately instead of waiting a week

None of these choices are right, wrong, or better than another…. And your self care needs change every day. Maybe one day Netflix does look like self care, over reading. But the reason I wanted to talk about this on the blog, is because most people choose the comfort option over the discomfort option 9/10 times because it feels better.


When we let ourselves seek comfort over discomfort… and when we don’t truly practice self care, we become complacent. We may never take the inspired action because it may be too uncomfortable to attempt. We never lean into the shit that will make us grow because it requires us to dive into the unknown, to change.


A true practice of self care prioritizes ourselves, our goals, and our needs. A true self care practice means that you are your own best advocate.


Self care is making the hard choice over the easy choice, at least half the time. We all need our rest. We all need to truly tap out at times, but let’s be aware of the motivation behind it.


Is our ‘being’ asking for rest and a reset? Or are we avoiding something we don’t want to do? Self care is asking this question, and moving toward the option that will nourish you the most. You get to define what nourishment looks like.


You are your own best advocate, so design a self care practice that reflects this.


Thank you for hanging out with me today. I will catch you in the next post!


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