Discover whether or not the language you use, the thoughts you experience, and the beliefs you have are keeping you from manifesting.
What words should you use to manifest your dreams? How do you speak the (not so secret) language of manifestation? Are the words and phrases you’re using keeping you from manifesting?
Today, we’re getting technical, y’all. We are diving deep into the language of manifestation. The details that can be getting in the way for us if we’re not mindful. These details are affirmative language use, your subject's energy and phrases, and negations. And we're going to jump into them all. These can help us, or hurt us, depending on how we're using them.
Our words are our power
We already know that our words are powerful and they allow us to manifest what we want and need, but I get this question a lot…can we unintentionally manifest what we don’t want? Yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes. You can.
Manifestation happens as a result of our identities and our lifestyles IN ADDITION to the intention setting and the visualization work we do. You manifest who and what you are. You get more of the things you believe about yourself. So, if you identify as a negative person, or a pessimist, whose immediate reaction is to focus on what is going wrong around you.... boom, you’re going to manifest more negativity and more that goes wrong.
This one time in high school....
I’ll never forget when I was in high school and I was in a bad place emotionally. One week I’d had a series of what felt like really dramatic losses. That week I started believing that everything would always go wrong for me.
Immediately after I began having these negative thoughts, the Universe came crashing down on me. Within about 3-4 days of getting to this emotional state, I’d wrecked my car, I tore my ACL so I couldn’t dance my senior year, I lost my dance scholarship as a result, I was fired from my weekend job, I lost some “close” friends, and I was sent to detention for the first time for something I didn’t do. It was a rough week....
I remember later that week having dinner with my dad to talk about how I would cover the car damage, and at this dinner I still in a "funk" and I spilled iced tea all over the table and in my lap. At that time, I was not a cryer. I was still suppressing my emotions at that point, but even with this being the case... I remember staring at the tea as it ran off the table, just watching it spill into my lap. Instead of moving out of the way or making any effort to contain the spill, I just sat there and thought “this seems right. This is where I’m at. This is what I deserve”. And then I just sat there and cried. I didn't even try to clean it up.
The impact of this moment sticks into my brain, not because it was a traumatic event by any means (I mean, it was just spilled tea), but the weight of the thoughts I was carrying up to and at that moment were the thoughts I'd held for the next year or two. Those were the negative thoughts that I allowed to manifest for me.
During this time, I fell into the abusive and manipulative relationship, I started college in a major that I didn't like, I had another wreck that completely totaled my car, and I felt really really lonely at University (in part because the guy I was dating didn't want me to make new friends because he was afraid I'd meet someone else, he was extremely jealous and possessive....I mean shit, you want to talk about red flags?!), so I was still battling the same helplessness and misery.
Thankfully, I started clawing my way out of this mindset about a year and a half into it and I was able to correct my course. It wasn’t easy, but I was sick and tired of feeling like shit. I can’t remember if I was aware of manifestation as a concept just yet, but I remember that I really wanted to work on a mindset shift because that is what I knew I needed to do.
By working on my mindset, I was able to get to a place of contentment, if not happiness, and things already started “working for me” even based on the small shifts I was making internally.
The lesson I learned from that experience is that it is much easier to maintain a positive mindset when you shift your focus, tune into the words you use, become more aware of what you’re saying, and be intentional. To get your mind right, you have to get your words right. Not just your spoken words, the words you think as well. So let’s jump into the three areas you should focus on to keep you on the right path.
Use affirmative language
The first of the three tips I have for you is using affirmations, or what I like to call, definitive language. This is your no bullshit way of saying something. No beating around the bush, no adding ifs, buts, or maybes. Definitive and affirmative word choices.
I hear non-affirming statements most often when I first start talking with people who are beginning their journey to shift their mindset and their manifestation abilities. Generally, we’re taught to use less definitive language because it is more modest, humble, or somehow makes us feel less terrible about taking up space.
This language is not only meek and downplays our power, but it is also the default setting for a lot of us. Coming from experience, this is especially true if you’re from the southern United States. A lot of us are not taught or empowered to be direct and state our wants and needs, and it's time to change that.
Non-affirming statements usually start with something like “I should”, “I would like”, “I want”, "I hope" or "I will try”. These are not definitive phrases and it does a great job of making sure we can't be held accountable. Oh, I said I SHOULD try, not that I was going to. Or, I said I will TRY! Not that I will accomplish. Or, I said I HOPE, not that I WILL. If this is you, go back to that perfectionism podcast (#4).
These phrases are a weak ask with no substance. Instead, of the "I hopes" and the "I shoulds" use language that does not leave room for ambiguity, possibility, or redirection.
Manifestation is based on your identity. You have to BECOME the thing you want to manifest before you do, so an "I should" and "I hope" phrase will not convince the Universe that you are already abundant. These phrases tell the Universe that you desire, that you're without.
To give you a better example, compare these two sentences: 1. I would like to be successful, versus 2. I am successful.
Do these fell different to you? Seriously. Listen again. 1. I would like to be successful, versus 2. I am successful.
Say these to yourself. I don’t know about you, but I feel a physical difference in these statements. When I did this exercise only my own, stating “I would like to be successful” caused me to hunch down and think about all the reasons I feel less than. It made me want to look down at my feet and shrug. It was full of what I lacked, what I desired but didn't have.
When I switched the statement to, “I am successful”, my head rose, I stood taller, and I felt the energy of ambition and success flood through me. I embodied the abundance, I became and therefore am the identity of success, and I attract more of that success to me. That is the energetic difference between these statements. That is the language of the Universe.
Instead of the weak phrases, start each sentence with “I am”, "I do", or “I have”. Affirm your manifestation. Be direct. Don’t meekly ask for it. Fucking become it. Take it. Act as if.
The words you use are a direct contribution to what you’re manifesting. The Universe isn’t fluent in any language but energy, so when you think about your word choices.... be mindful and stay positive.
Mind your subject’s energy and phrasing
Let’s move on to our second tip: Be mindful of your subject’s energy. Your subject is the topic of your sentence. Is the topic of your sentence negative or positive?
Most of us default to negative subjects. It’s usually what is modeled to us. As an example, if you want to get healthy.... do not use a phrase like “I am cutting fat” or “I no longer want to be overweight”. Because the focus and the subject of these sentences are “overweight” and “fat”.
Instead, opt for the positive versions of these sentences like “I am healthy” or “I am toned and fit”. See the difference?
You’re essentially getting to the same point, but one version carries a negative subject, in this case “fat” or “overweight” and the other version carries a positive subject, like “healthy”, “toned”, and “fit”.
To check yourself, compare the words or phrases you’re constantly using when thinking about manifesting something. Are they words that make you feel good and open? Or dread and tightness? In other words, do they make you feel good or bad?
Other phrases I hear a lot are about past traumas or even ancestral trauma. Instead of the common phrase, “I’m working to let go of past trauma” instead try the positive variation of this sentence. Why not, “I heal myself and bring peace to future generations”. The intent stays the same, but the phrases have a totally different energy.
Unfortunately, this nuance is where a lot of people criticize manifestation. They fail to realize that the energy of their sentence matters just as much as the intent. They focus on the negative subject instead of reframing it into a positive. So, they’re manifesting more of what they don’t want... by focusing on what they don’t want.
Another example I hear a lot is someone trying to clear student loans and gain wealth. Often times, their affirmation statement, using affirmative language, will be something like, “I am out of debt” or “I am not in debt”. What’s the focus of those sentences? Debt. So what do you get? More debt.
Instead, refocus on positive subjects. That could look like “I am wealthy, “I have a lot of money”, “I am financially free”, even something outside of yourself like "Money is always flowing to me”. Get creative with it! But keep it positive.
The subject energy of your sentence matters just as much, if not more, than your words.
This brings me to our last and third technicality....do not use negations. Again, the focus is on the subject and intent. Throwing the word “not” into the sentence does not change the subject. So saying “I am not going to be late” tells the universe... late. I want to be late. Or “I will not be passed up for the next promotion” translates to...”pass me up for the next promotion.”.... This kind of goes hand in hand with the subject energy. The subject remains the focus. It doesn't matter if you throw "not" in there.
The Universe doesn’t speak our language, verbatim. It follows the intent or the subject behind the sentence. Few would read or hear the sentence “I am not in debt” and envision a mansion instead. The best example I've heard to describe this is the elephant example that’s given a lot. If someone tells you NOT to think about an elephant....what do you think about? That's what you're asking the Universe to do when you use negations.
If you grew up with a pessimistic mindset, this will not be an easy shift, by the way. I get it, I lived in that for decades. But your words are powerful manifestations and you need to assume responsibility for them.
Find other ways to get your meaning across. If you find yourself in the middle of a sentence, and you're about to drop a "not", or you already did? Just stop and start over. Say to yourself, let me try that again and start over. That is a perfectly acceptable thing to do while you're learning.
The way we speak is a habit, and you will have to unlearn the bad habits you've formed. Myself included, by the way! I still work on these. I'm sure you've heard past podcasts where I've slipped up. We're human, we make mistakes. We have the luxury of being imperfect. All we can do is try to learn from our past mistakes and move forward. Do not dwell on your faults because they're just signs of progress. Every success requires past failures.
AND, and, and, and, as we talk about changing the words, phrases, and the thoughts you have to become a better manifestor, this 1000% includes self criticism. If you use hateful words with yourself, and you judge yourself harshly... what do you think you’re manifesting? More hate and harshness to yourself. You’re not manifesting a happier life by criticizing yourself, I guarantee it. Be kind to yourself and shy away from the self punishment.
This self-criticism is ESPECIALLY important when you think about past events and traumas as well. When you think about those moments and the impact they left on you, or who you were at that time.... What words and phrases are you using? How could that reflection, and the phrases you're using to describe this moment when you think about it... how is that manifesting for you today? Because those thoughts still are if you haven't shifted that mindset. Do you continue to call your past self weak? Stupid? Ignorant? Dramatic? How can you be kinder to your past self?
Those are all the tips I have for you this week! To recap, the three manifestation language tips I have for you today. Use affirmative language, watch the subject’s energy and phrasing, and avoid negations.
Your homework for the week is to begin noticing your speaking patterns and habits. Start self correcting anytime you notice that you're not being affirmative, you’re not using positive subjects, or that you're using negations. Begin your sentences with “I am” or “I have”, avoid the use of the word "not", and present the positive side of a scenario.
And, ask your friends, family, co-workers to help hold you accountable! Let them know that you're working on a positive mindset shift and would appreciate some help correcting yourself. Then give them some examples of things you say a lot and how they can help you shift! You might be surprised at how many people want to join in and do the same for themselves! Especially with the New Year coming up...
My friends and I have a fun with this and now all we have to say to each other is, “do you want to try that again?”. Which helps to raise each others vibe. This group effort is also a beautiful reminder that we all mess up sometimes, but we're all collectively interested in helping each other grow and do better. Empowered women, empower women.
Please let me know how this is working for you or how this has helped change the way you live. And, if you want to leave a review of this show, screenshot it and e-mail it to me at firstname.lastname@example.org, and I will send you my 7 Weekly Tips to Create Space for Abundance in return!
Have a fantastic rest of your week, and I will catch y’all next Monday. Until then, go out there and manifest some miracles.
Check out this discussion in podcast form:
Additional resources mentioned: