How to Rewrite Your Past: Using Neuroscience to Reclaim Your Power

Bre Brown
5 hours ago
9 min read

Hello my beautiful souls!

Welcome back to the Modern Manifestation blog. Feel free to listen in to today's topic in the podcast.

Today, we are going to talk about the implications of staying stuck in old narratives.

Many of us live in our past stories — using them as evidence for why things are the way they are today and allowing ourselves to remain stuck.

We've all met these people. Hell, I have been that person—more times than I'd like to admit.

Someone doesn't sing because they were made fun of for singing in high school. Someone else doesn't share emotions because they were picked on for being too emotional in 5th grade. Another person might think they're bad at math because they failed a test in junior high….

Whatever the experience was and the belief it created, the work can't stop there. As aware adults, it is our responsibility to work through our own shit instead of using our past as a reason not to.

Because while our past can explain some of our current circumstances, it should never define our future potential.

For a long time, I told myself I wasn't as successful as I wanted to be because I didn't come from money and those who did had it way easier. It was my favorite excuse because it was logical, felt valid, and holds some truth. But telling myself this story every day didn't empower me to make any changes; this belief trapped me. Made me feel hopeless against something I couldn't control. Why would I pick up the phone and call a prospect if I assumed they wouldn't take me seriously without family connections?

When I began to reframe this narrative, I created more space to change my habits. I stopped seeing my background as a limitation and started seeing it as fuel for my resilience and appreciation.

I wasn't unsuccessful because of my past… I was ambitious in spite of it. My past didn't keep me down, it made me someone that would appreciate success so much more because of it. Someone who could get told "no" by potential clients 100x a day and wasn’t fazed because I’d heard it 1000x before. I was more desensitized to the word "no" than someone that came from wealth would ever be… so I began to see my ability to make cold calls in a different light. I could do what I needed to do to become successful BECAUSE of my past.

We all came into this world with different circumstances, but we're not here to compare suffering.

Ruminating gives our power away and you're not here because you're powerless. You're here—listening to this—because something deep inside you knows you're powerful. It's just looking for a reminder.

While our experiences growing up were not our fault, we have to choose how they influence us as we get older. Once we become aware, we accept responsibility.

Defining your life based on past experiences will only keep you there. The stories we tell ourselves about what's happened to us directly shape the reality we live in now, so if you don't like your story—rewrite it.

Memory as Reconstruction, Not Retrieval

Metacognition—our ability to think about how we think—is one of the greatest gifts of being human. Because while you can't change what happened, you can change how you perceive it.

Here's something fascinating: neuroscience tells us that memory isn't like replaying a video clip. If it were, we'd all remember events exactly the same way. Instead, memory is a reconstruction. Each time we recall a moment, our brain pulls together fragments of stored information and rebuilds that event—not just based on how we felt then, but more importantly, based on how we feel right now, in the present moment.

The current version of you determines how you remember the past—your memory literally molds itself to fit the narrative you're currently telling about your life.

How Your Current Mood Rewrites Your Past

This phenomenon is referred to in psychology as mood-congruent recall—the emotion you're feeling right now acts as a filter for your memories.

When you're feeling anxious or sad, your brain naturally gravitates toward anxious and sad memories. When you're in a good mood, happy memories come to mind more easily. It's like your emotional state determines the TV channel you’re on and which memories you can access.

But here's where it gets even more interesting: we don't just recall different types of memories based on our mood. We actually change the memories themselves.

Let me give you an example. Say you have a neutral memory—maybe a regular conversation you had with someone. If you recall that memory while you're feeling stressed or upset, your brain can re-store it as a more negative experience than it actually was. You might add tension to the tone, read hostility into neutral words, or remember the other person as dismissive when they were just distracted.

And we're not even aware we're doing this.

The Thanksgiving Argument

Here's how this plays out in real life: Imagine you make a neutral comment to your sister at Thanksgiving dinner. Nothing dramatic—just a casual remark. But over the next few years, she's going through a tough time. Maybe she's dealing with feeling unsupported by the family. Each time she thinks back to that dinner while feeling angry or hurt, she might unconsciously add details that weren’t there—maybe she remembers your tone as sharper, your words as more critical, a glance in the other direction becomes an eyeroll.

Fast forward five years when you’re in an argument, she says, "You yelled at me at Thanksgiving and rolled your eyes!" You're completely blindsided because from your perspective, that never happened. You assume she's being malicious or exaggerating. She feels like you're gaslighting her and rewriting the story to make yourself look better.

Knowing what we now know about memory... who's actually right?

The truth is, you're both right—and you're both wrong. She genuinely remembers it that way. You genuinely remember it differently. Neither of you is lying. You've just reconstructed that memory through completely different emotional filters.

This is what makes memory so powerful—and so dangerous if we're not aware of it. We remember past events through our present emotional filters, and we have no idea we're editing the story every single time we tell it.

Overtime, you can see how this could easily lead someone to be more pessimistic or optimistic. The stories we tell ourselves shape our world view, which shapes what we see and how we interact with everything and everyone around us.

An Example (Sorry, if you're listening Grandma!)

All my life, my grandma has been one of the most negative people I know. When I was younger, I didn't notice it as much because my whole family was pessimistic and critical; however, as an adult that has really focused on working on myself, I've noticed that every conversation I have with my grandma somehow turns into a story about how rude someone was to her, how she could tell they didn't like her, or how someone tried to screw her over.

Statistically speaking, grandma can't possibly be unlucky enough to meet every rude person within a 20-mile radius of her. Here is what is actually happening… Grandma is filtering all of her interactions through her past stories and how they influence her current self-image. After years of physical and emotional abuse, she believes she is unworthy, unlikable, and unwanted…. And that has become her filter.

Her early wounds shaped how she still views herself and the world today. While she's not responsible for what happened to her, she is responsible for how it continues to influence her life now.

For instance, my brother recently invited her to a family gathering. A week later, she told me, "He said I can come if I want, but he implied that he didn't really want me there. It was in his tone. I'm just a burden". I was standing there when he made the ask, and from my perspective, he was very welcoming.

Her version of that memory perfectly fit her ongoing story: people don't want me around. The heartbreaking part about all of this is that she genuinely believes this narrative. And no matter how much we reassure her, the story she tells herself always wins because her brain is working hard to rewrite the memories to validate that belief—and she's not even aware it is happening.

And we all do this, to different degrees. Thankfully, this means we can ALSO use this phenomenon to reshape our narratives and (as a result) our identities.

Are you someone who allows an old story to keep you stuck in a current circumstance or way of being? OR, are you someone who allows this story to influence who you're trying to grow into now?

Why Our Beliefs Matter

Every story we tell ourselves about our past directly influences our choices today—whether you take that job, love again, or finally pursue that dream. You can't change the events themselves, but you can absolutely change what they mean and how they shape your future.

While the past can inform our decisions, it doesn't define who we are becoming. So, let's jump into how to rewrite these stories.

Rewriting the Past: Neuroscience Tools for Transformation

1. Change the emotional connotation of a past story with Neuro-Associative Conditioning

Memories are not fixed—they're rewritten every time we access them. By deliberately recalling a memory through a different emotional frame—focusing on humor, growth, or acceptance—you literally reshape the neural pathways tied to that event.

Tony Robbins calls this "Neuro-Associative Conditioning." For example, if you visualize an old painful memory (and that normally makes you feel sad and comes up when you're already feeling sad), reimagine it as a comical scene when you're feeling good—like turning your ex into a cartoon character or imagining the situation as a ridiculous skit—you weaken the emotional charge attached to it.

For my Harry Potter fans out there—it's like facing a Boggart: you transform a memory that sparks fear into one that makes you feel amused.

2. Reframe the self-narrative using Affective Adaptation

Affective Adaptation is the process of reinterpreting past events as growth opportunities to lower stress and increase our overall happiness. Try retelling a painful event as the moment that built your courage, your empathy, or your clarity. Explain how this memory changed you for the better, in SOME way….. instead of why it held you back. Each time you do, you strengthen a new identity that aligns with who you're becoming.

Cognitive reframing can also help you transform negative self-talk into empowering narratives. Start by catching recurring thoughts like, "I failed that relationship", "I stayed too long", "I wasn't my best". Then, consciously reword them: "That relationship taught me how to communicate more honestly", "I learned a lot about myself in that time", "I did the best I could with the information I had at the time".

When you shift the meaning of a story, you shift the emotion—and when you shift the emotion, your thoughts and behaviors will soon follow.

Practical Exercises You Can Try This Week

Story Revision: Write about the same event from three roles: the victim, the survivor, and the learner. What does each perspective reveal?
Mindful Recall: When an old hurtful memory resurfaces, journal about what you gained from this experience rather than what you lost. How did this moment serve your evolution?
Aligned Action: Do something today that contradicts an old story—an action that represents who you want to be, not who you were. For example, if someone once told you that you were an awful artist… go out and sign up for an art class.

Each time you engage in one of these exercises, you strengthen new neural connections that support healing.

Every story you tell about who you are carries a vibration. So be thoughtful about your memories and their meaning because you'll continue to attract experiences that reinforce them.

Changing the lens through which you view your past doesn't erase pain—it transforms it into wisdom.

When you can change how an old story makes you feel, you free yourself from needing to relive it. You reclaim your story. You reclaim your power.

And you begin to live—not as a victim of your memories—but as the conscious creator of your future.

By letting go of the old stories, you create space for new realities. You are not your past story. You are the author of what comes next.

Thank you for hanging out with me today. I will catch you in the next post!

Follow Bre on: Instagram | Facebook | Pinterest

Podcast

Check out this discussion in podcast form: