Hello hello! Welcome to the 4th and final post of my 4-part Money Mindset Series. If you are just checking in and this is your first episode, I highly recommend that you scroll back to my last few posts and start your money mindset journey there. For everyone else, welcome back!
So far, we’ve covered your limited money beliefs around money (which happens when you villainize money because of the beliefs adults around you had when you were a kid), your debt mindset (which is the energy you embody when you handle your outflow money), and playing your part as your own personal CFO to be proactive about and owning your money management.
My final topic in this Money Mindset Series is all about.... positive spending.
Not necessarily paying bills, but any time you’re spending money.
Any time you buy something, ask yourself. Are you coming from a place of scarcity or abundance when you spend money—regardless of whether or not what you’re buying is something YOU consider to be positive or negative. When you’re spending money on self care… how does that feel? How do you feel buying that expensive purse or that language course you’ve been wanting to buy? How does it feel to spend $50 on something you want? $500? $5,000?
What is your relationship with spending money on YOU? Are you feeling guilt around this?
A great way to tell if this experience for you is positive, is to notice how you FEEL physically. Do you feel a tightness in your chest or worry in the pit of your stomach? If so, that’s a sign to look at this aspect of your relationship with money. This is a physical indication of the energy you’re putting off—and it’s an energy you’re putting off when you’re handling your money. And y’all know what I’m going to say about that!
If you have this negative physical reaction EVERY TIME you spend money, regardless of whether or not it is spending money on something you actively want, you’re getting out of flow with abundance. You’re telling money to STOP flowing to you.
And, as this spending relates to bills or necessities specifically, if you’re still having a lot of negativity about this, go back and check out the last few blog posts... take that as a sign of some work you gotta do.
I ask again, how do you feel when you’re buying things that you want? Things you don’t need? How do you feel when you spend money on yourself as an act of self love or self care?
There is a fine balance between an abundant mindset that helps you manifest…and a knowing when something does not align with that balance. It is okay, and it will not throw off your manifestation abilities, to admit that there are prices that you’re not willing to pay—not what you CAN’T pay.....what you’re not WILLING to pay. Not everything that is valuable will be a match for you. It could be later, but it doesn’t have to be a match now and it is okay to recognize that. For me, a $60 million dollar house is not in alignment with me right now. Respecting that boundary is showing your money respect.
If you’re sweating and feeling constricted as you buy something, then don’t buy it. Even things you consider more high value (notice I’m not saying expensive)—like a purse, airline ticket, or even something as ordinary as coffee… the.don’t.buy.it! Don’t buy it until you can feel good about the purchase. Until you can get in alignment with that purchase. Until that purchase won’t cause you financial stress or until you are happy to make the purchase without guilt.
AND, I’m not trying to give you an excuse to not pay bills by the way—haha. There are ways that you can get in alignment before making the purchase. You can step away and recenter yourself, create a list of the value it brings, visualize your abundance, do whatever you need to do to get high vibe before you check out. Remember, keep the flow around your money positive.
Even if money isn’t an issue for you, you can still experiencing a negative reaction to spending. Maybe it is your way to buy love? To prove something? An attempt to fill a void in your life through material goods? Any one of these experiences will create a barrier. These are signs that you need to continue to work on your limiting beliefs. So if this is you, discover WHY spending money causes you guilt, stress, or anxiety because you will reach a point where you will not be able to manifest any more for yourself if you don’t.
As a quick example, the first year I made over six-figures, I continued to live as I had in college. I bought crappy food, I felt guilt while spending money on myself, I took advantage of every free food opportunity, I lived in a house that looked like the basement of the That 70’s show, I still went to thrift stores for work clothes, etc. I was living as if there was an invisible shoe that was going to drop. As if at any moment, the Universe would recognize that I was a fraud who had no business manifesting this money and that it would take it all back.
I had achieved, and yet I’d reverted back to a scarcity mindset. My limiting beliefs that my parents gave me around spending started creeping up. They constantly lived with a lot of debt, so I was hyper aware of not wanting to make the same mistakes. So much so, that I was afraid to spend the money I’d made. However, I was making it hard to manifest more when I was operating from this place. I felt such a strong need to hoard this wealth to protect what was mine. As a result, it was difficult for me to continue to bring in more. I plateaued for about 6 months before really looking into my mindset.
My lesson for you, from that experience, is that on one hand, it is great to be conscious of your spending and responsible with your money, but on the other hand…if you’re TOO frugal that tells the Universe that you think this money may not last, it may disappear at any moment, and it must be clung to. And like I always say… treat your money like your friend....friends don’t like clingyness!
If this is a concern for you, work to find a healthy balance between spending and saving. I’m not saying go nuts, I’m telling you to find things to invest in that make you feel good and more abundant, that are in alignment with the new level of a lifestyle that you’ve reached or that you want to reach. Stretch a little in order to grow, but do not stretch so much that you’re out of balance.
So ask yourself….what does spending money mean to you? If you can afford something and you still struggle to buy nice things for yourself that you want, then you need to spend some time working on your limiting beliefs behind letting go and frugality. Frugality is scarcity. Mindful spending and investing, is abundance.
And, in case this comes to mind as a solution, you can’t go numb while spending. You can’t throw everything else we’ve talked about to the way side. You need to be present with your money at all times.
Also, don’t buy something just because you can if you don’t really want it. Remember, it’s a relationship based in mutual respect. No one likes to be used. Yes, be abundant and know that money is always flowing to you, but make sure that the purchase is in alignment with your life.
To reiterate, do NOT spend your money if it isn’t going to be a positive experience. Another mistake I see people make when they first find out about manifestation and they’re so eager to start… is they over indulge. The idea of acting as if is great, but acting as if can only get you so far if you aren’t an energetic match yet.
People that jump onto this ONE portion of manifestation can get themselves in a lot of trouble and then, instead of recognizing the work they still need to do, discount the whole idea of manifestation.
“Oh, I just need to spend more money to receive?! GREAT!”
And then they go blow their money, rack up a lot of debt, pretending to feel like a millionaire by spending like a millionaire... without doing any of the other work to become an energetic match.
Think about all of the tips we’ve already covered over the past month. Assuming you’ve begun the work, you’re already so much more aligned with money... Now imagine JUST knowing the act as if part and going for it. This is like getting into the car for a road trip with one tire. You can’t get to where you want to be by focusing on only one part of manifestation—the “acting as if” part. This strategy will in turn stress that person out and causes them to unmanifest.
You have to do the internal work too, not just the spending part. Spending recklessly while carrying an “I’m manifesting flag” is a great way to prove your ego right, but it is not a great way to manifest abundance.
I’ll never tell you to blow your money just because you can. I’ll never tell you that reckless spending will ensure that money comes back to you.... because it won’t!
Yes, spending is a part of the flow, but spend in a way that shows respect for your money. Spend positively to boost your monetary relationship. Treat your money, like your friend. Don’t dump it at the first sign of a new opportunity. Do not binge spend, thinking that this is how to get more money. Binging is not in alignment with abundance. Binging is the essence of scarcity.
I’m not saying to never buy luxury items, but there is a way to do it that could have a more positive spending experience.
So let’s talk about that for a second. There is a way to have luxury items around you that make you feel abundant—without breaking your bank. Instead of buying Prada, or Hermes, or Gucci, or whatever your “wealth” brand is for you at full cost, why not buy it from a secondhand shop, eBay, or Poshmark? If that fits your budget better AND gets you the luxury items you want, wouldn’t that make you feel happier? Wouldn’t that make you have a more positive relationship with that money as you spend it?
This is a totally reasonable decision to make. If you want the luxury, but the monetary value of an item is not yet aligned with your money management, then look for alternative purchase options.
I can’t tell you how many times people have told me, “well I’m trying to manifest more wealth into my life so I’m going to go out and buy all these name brand items IN ORDER TO BECOME someone that can afford these items”.
Don’t get me wrong… their logic is right. They’re trying to step into the identity of someone who has the things they want; HOWEVER, they haven’t done the internal work that makes the spending of that money positive.
And because they haven’t done the energetic work, they’re buying these name brand items, feeling stressed as they swipe, then they’re worried about actually being able to pay the bill, and when the bill comes, they’re wondering why they haven’t manifested the money they want. Their mindset wasn’t aligned with money. Their mindset was still stuck in lack, worry, and stress. You can’t out manifest a scarce mindset! Let me repeat, you can’t out manifest a scarce mindset.
All of your money experiences need to be positive in whatever way that means for you. This will be different for all of us. I wouldn’t feel good spending $1000 on race car parts, but I would feel really good spending $1000 on a trip to Italy. You might not want to spend $1000 dollars on material things, but you might want to spend that on a class or a coach because that provides value for you. See what I mean? The purchase needs to align with your wants, needs, desires, and money mindset.
All this being said, it is good to stretch yourself a little. You have to get out of the comfort zone of having what you currently have and stretching what you choose to invest in for yourself can be a good way to do this. BUT, you need to stretch a little at a time so you don’t shock your system or cause a lifestyle creep that causes financial stress for you. You don’t want to back track. You want to make sure you’re learning how to be the person who has this kind of money. This is actually why most lottery winners lose all of their money within a few years. They never learn HOW to be a person who has that kind of money, energetically, so the money is repelled and it doesn’t replenish.
I want to leave you with one last piece of advice before we wrap up this series. You’ve heard all of my tips for you and you’re ready to start manifesting more money. But, how much money? What feels right? What are YOU in alignment for RIGHT NOW?