Updated: Jan 4
I get asked this a lot.... how do you set New Year's Resolutions? How can you keep New Year's Resolutions? Can manifestation help you keep your resolutions and meet goals? Yes. Yes to it all!
Every year people all around the world get SO EXCITED about their New Years Resolutions. We become enamored with this idea of becoming a better version of ourselves. I mean... New Year, New Me, right?
We enter the New Year with the best of intentions. We truly WANT to improve ourselves and we’re optimistic about our ability to do so and change for the better. We commit to our resolution, we make progress in the first week, maybe the first month, and very rarely past the first half of the year.
We slowly let our resolutions slip and hope we do better next year because so many people around the world s.t.r.u.g.g.l.e to keep resolutions long-term. But why do so many of us struggle to stick with our resolutions? How can you keep from becoming another statistic?
The big “how” is in the planning. Planning so thoroughly that you cannot fail anyway but forward.
I’m sure at this point you’re probably thinking to yourself, “but I do plan! My friends and I always communicate our goals to each other” or “I always get a membership to XYZ” Or “I bought all the self help books in preparation!”. Or my personal favorite “But I’ve already bought my meal prepping containers!” Any of these, or versions of, sound familiar to you?
Having goals for the New Year that you can clearly articulate is a great first step. But we want to manifest the BEST version of our lives right? Let’s not settle for half assed New Year’s Resolutions. So let’s jump I to how you can create a resolution you will keep.
The first step to keeping your resolution is:
1. Identify what you want
Identify the things you want most. What is the list of things you’ve always wanted for yourself, that are completely within your control? Ask yourself what makes you the happiest and most inspired if they were accomplished? How would it FEEL to achieve these goals?
Create a list of what you want and why. Spend time on each goal and connect with it. Is it a small goal? Big goal? Does it feel overwhelming? If it does feel overwhelming, can you break this goal down into a different micro goal instead that feels more in alignment?
For example, if you want to work on decluttering your whole house to make room for that abundant MF energy we talked about in episode #5 (link below), maybe you can start with a drawer, or a closet, or a bookshelf instead?
Sometimes our resolutions would be huge accomplishments because we want to see big change, but you need to start small. It helps build your confidence which will overtime, shut your ego up, and make long lasting change instead of the yo-yo effect.
2. Clarify your “why”
Make sure your goals really resonate with you emotionally. If they’re too superficial or shallow because you haven’t dove deeper, it’s not going to be very hard to give them up when the first set of obstacles come up.
Let’s say one of your goals to get healthy. Why? Beyond how you look, beyond a general since of happiness or well being....deeper. Those reasons aren’t strong enough. Get to the core of your “why”. Keep funneling down until you get to something that fires you up. Something that will keep you going when challenges present themselves.
Maybe your “why” in this example would be to release the body image you have of someone who is unlovable and allow yourself to step into the health of someone who is enough, or maybe you’re on a life regulating medication you’ve been on for years and you want to get healthy so you can be medicine free, or maybe you just want to be more spiritually aligned with your body and your mind and you want to reflect that connection. Go deeper.
I’ll never forget when I lost 8% body fat after my breakup with my previously abusive boyfriend. I made my “why” all about revenge and vanity. I didn’t feel good, but I wanted to look good to satisfy whatever was missing in me. What made me abusable and weak. That “why”, while sad in a lot of ways, was still shallow. It was vanity for the sake of revenge. As a result, I was only able to keep my body fat percentage at a healthy number for about 3 months before gaining it all back.
The lack of a strong “why” creates yo-yoing. Beyond the INITIAL weight loss, the vanity of my why wasn’t strong enough to help me maintain that weight loss long term and the negativity of the other why, my "not enough-ness", worked against me also because of that negativity. Find the “why” for you that will get your ass moving each day as you work toward your desires. “Because I want to look better in my clothes” won’t get you into the kitchen to meal prep on a Sunday night when you’re tired AF. Find what will. The why needs to be stronger than your excuses.
3. Be selective & maintain balance
Choose one to three goals that you would like to pursue as a resolution (too many is a recipe for disappointment and disaster).
Keep this list small. Baby steps can lead to major lifestyle changes. Drastic/huge lifestyle changes that happen over night, usually leads to eventual relapsing. And if you can, try choosing goals in different areas of your life so you don’t overload or overwhelm any one area.
As an example, If you want to do something like learn a language, try to make another other goal something physical or creative. That way, you’re not mentally overloading yourself and tiring yourself out. Instead of learning a language AND reading everyday AND learning guitar, maybe learn a language and give up dairy, or stop smoking, or go on a walk once a day.
Balancing out the impact of your resolutions across different facets of your life will prevent you from getting overwhelmed, in addition to keeping the list small.
4. Visualize the success & challenges
Walk through your typical day. How are you going to be successful? What will be the hardest part or the biggest struggle you will face? How do you plan to overcome this? What excuses could you make? How will you make sure they don’t work? How will you push forward and through the pain?
In addition to visualizing all of the wonderful things that will help you be successful, you need to be very honest with yourself and identify where you could struggle and why. In other words, what are your limiting beliefs and strategies your ego might try? Then, start thinking through how you will overcome or prevent these challenges.
What can you do to make sure these challenges do not knock you off course. For me? Challenges would be things like poor time management, how much energy I have, decision making fatigue, so I typically front load my day with my resolutions BEFORE I get tired, or before my day gets hectic with meetings.
Get clear on what might throw you off, and make a plan to overcome this. Go back to your why! And, visualize HOW you will be successful. Visualize you successfully accomplishing your goals.
5. Write down a detailed plan
It’s great to know where you’re going, but you need to lay out the “how” that will get you there. Plans clearly articulated AND WRITTEN DOWN are significantly more likely to be effective. How will you achieve these goals step by step? What is the smallest step you can take each day to set yourself up for success?
Identify the details. Maybe it’s waking up 5 minutes earlier to read, or listening to a language learning podcast on the way to work, or packing healthy snacks the night before you go to work. When will you set aside time for your goals? How long will it take each day? Who is your support system?
Write out your entire success plan as if it is a business plan. Because it is....it is your life's business plan. You are the CEO, the CFO, the COO, and the CIO of your life. Know EVERYTHING and be intentional.
Identify what could cause you to veer off course, and address how you can overcome that on the front end. If getting healthier is a goal of yours, a potential road block might be no access to healthy food. How can you address that beforehand? Meal prepping and packing snacks. That might mean grocery shopping on Friday’s so you can meal prep on Saturdays, which might mean creating your grocery list on Thursdays, which might take you 15 minutes that evening after work etc. Peel back the layers of each detail.
If you know you won’t do something that is critical to achieving a goal, are there alternatives? Can you outsource some of your to-dos? If not, and you still won’t do whatever it is you need to succeed, your why isn’t strong enough. Go back to step 2! The key is to get honest with yourself. If you’ve tried and failed forward before, what lesson can be learned and how can you overcome this?
Write out your strategy THIS MONTH. Do this BEFORE the New Year so January 1st doesn’t come around and you don’t say “oh I’ll just start tomorrow” which then becomes Monday, and then the next, and then the next until you never begin. Put the work in now while you’re still motivated, lean into this inspired action.
6. Lean into your intuition & be realistic
As you detail your plan, make sure it is reasonable and FEELS in alignment. Does anything feel off to you? Does it all feel good to look and and visualize? Does anything feel overwhelming or stressful? What does your intuition tell you?
Do not allow yourself to create a plan that is doomed to fail and shatter your ego. If your plan is weight loss, no more than about 2 pounds a week. If it is reading, start with 5, 10, or 15 minutes a day instead of 5 hours. Avoid committing to goals like “fluent in Italian in 3 months” or “lose 100 pounds in 3 months” or “train to run a marathon in 3 weeks”. While you can manifest anything, that doesn’t always mean you should. Your manifestations need to be in alignment with your goals.
Aim for healthy progress over quick results. It’s like the saying goes, the longer something takes to achieve, the more precious it is to you. Don’t set yourself up to yo-yo on your goals! Be patient. We’re making lifestyle changes, not ordering lunch. Push yourself of course, because this leads to personal growth, but push yourself reasonably. It’s a fine balance! Push yourself, but not too much. Find the sweet spot between comfortable and overwhelmed. That is where beautiful change occurs.
7. Check-in with your goals weekly & adjust
Once a week. Not once a day, once an hour, once a month. Checking in too often is not a good idea, and neither is too infrequently. This habit can trick you into thinking progress isn’t being made, or to lose motivation. Instead, choose one day a week to reflect on the past week. What went well? What didn’t? Allow yourself the curtesy of assessing your goals and tweaking as necessary.
Maybe reading everyday is too much too soon. Every other day might work better. Or, maybe one cheat meal a week isn’t working. Maybe you need two? Perhaps taking your guitar lessons need to be 30 minutes instead of an hour. Use this time to reflect on the commitments you kept and didn’t keep the week prior. Allow this to show you what isn’t working and READJUST.
Resolutions and goals are not written in stone! You can f******* change them at any time! Make them work with you, not against you. You’re not a failure just because you don’t perfectly follow some arbitrary plan that you created for yourself. Don’t allow your black and white thinking to label you a failure as you work to identify what you need to be successful. Be flexible. Allow adjustments. We’re all different, we all have different motivations, and we each need to figure out what system works for us.
If you’re new to this process, it’s likely you will need to reassess and adjust accordingly. Trial and error is a GREAT tool to identify habits for long-term success. Especially when there are SO MANY methods that can be used. There are tons of methods and paths to success for a reason! Because we all think and operate differently.
And, use this time to congratulate yourself! Even if you only read once this past week—is it more than you were reading last year? Last week? Great! That’s improvement. You don’t need to hit some arbitrary amount that your less experienced self set, in order to be successful. Each step in the right direction is success. Praise yourself for your progress, any progress.
8. Reset when you mess up and get back into alignment
This goes hand in hand with step 7. In addition to checking in, allow yourself to pause, reset, and try again. We can’t live in the black and white world if we want to be mentally healthy people. If you have a bad day, week, month, that’s ok. Pause, reflect on what happens and why, reevaluate your plan, and try again. Reset mentally and energetically.
You do not have to reset on a Monday, or tomorrow, and it doesn’t have to be on the first day of the month, year, or even week! Monday is not some magical day that is going to get you motivated all the sudden. There are no rules for you to break other than the ones you create for yourself.
Your goals and resolutions will likely be a part of a larger lifestyle change. If this is the case, this is a huge undertaking. Changing a lifestyle that has been in place for years, if not decades, is a challenge. Realize that life is about making mistakes and learning from them. Do the same with your resolutions. Learn how to do better as you get up and try again.
Lifestyle changes are the most rewarding, but they’re also the most difficult because your ego will fear the change. Don’t allow your ego to win. Force it to embrace the positive change and eventually it will step out of the way. So keep asking it to move!
While all of these tips will help you manifest success, I would be remiss if I didn't specifically address manifestation tips as well. Allow manifestation to help you. Utilize all the tools you’ve learned from myself and others to help you make this change.
KNOW that your success is coming so the Universe can work to make it a little easier, visualize having your success, take inspired action when your intuition is calling to you, speak your success into existence using your words and affirmations, be grateful for the small steps and don’t forget that they’re also little successes, and maintain your positivity while you’re on this journey.
You. Got. This. Know already have your success.
Have a fabulous rest of your week, and I will catch y’all next Monday. Until then, go out there and manifest some miracles.
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