Updated: Dec 6, 2020
Let's talk jealousy. Is jealousy good or bad? Well, it depends. When used in a positive way, jealousy can be an intuitive indicator on your manifestation path. It can be a sign that you're on the RIGHT path.
And when I say jealousy, by the way, I am not talking about this in a romantic sense because I do not allow that BS in my romantic relationships. Jealousy and romantic relationships do not mix well.
I’m talking about jealousy that you experience as a result of someone else’s success or achievements. You might feel this when a friend gets a new car, engaged, a promotion, starts a successful business, or any other number of things that make you pause and notice jealousy.
According to psychologists, jealousy results from a feeling of inadequacy and insecurity, but I’ve found through my work that it is also a sign of missed opportunity and capability.
Jealousy can be a gift
And for that reason, and I’m sure most people wouldn’t agree with me when I say this, but I consider jealousy to be such a beautiful sign when you’re beginning your manifestation journey. I bet you’ve never heard of it referred to as a good thing, but here is why I think jealousy can be a positive indicator…
The beautiful thing about your experiencing jealousy means that you KNOW you’re capable of doing something, even if your ego tries to talk you out of it. The insecurity you’re feeling is more often than not because you know that you’re meant for something more, and you see someone else going after and achieving what you know deep down, you’re capable of, and what you want. It is a sign that your life is meant for something more. It is a step toward clarity.
Also, the fact that you’re seeing the success of others, especially in the ways that you want to have it (engagement, promotion, crowd source funding, etc.), means that this success is already in your energetic field. You’re already experiencing it by proxy.
Unfortunately, the Universe works at its own pace and in micro steps, but we’re not always patient enough to wait it out until we can achieve the same success for ourselves. When this happens we might get discouraged by our jealousy.
We look at all the other people and the success that they’re having, get discouraged by our own lack of, and then we give up before the universe even has an opportunity to give us the same amount of success.
But again, you can use this jealousy as a sign that the Universe is already giving you clues, via the other people around you and their success, that your own achievement is already within your energetic field. You’re already corresponding with and collaborating with people in life that have this success you desire, and you’re so close to it because you are getting into alignment with success, and therefore those people that have it. You're all operating in the same Universal network.
You might not be 100% be in alignment with the success you want JUST YET, so the Universe shows you the opportunity through others to keep you motivated. We just may not see it that way. So you need to give the Universe time for it to deliver it to you also. Use someone else’s success as a sign that you are on the right path.
Have you ever noticed that as soon as a new running record, weight lifting record is set… the old record then becomes the new standard for success? Humans are funny because sometimes, we have to see someone else achieve something before we believe it is possible.
So once a new record is set, almost immediately other people will start breaking the OLD record consistently as if it weren’t ever a milestone to achieve. If they had believed in themselves before someone else broke the record, they could have shattered the old record years prior! But, we are creatures of habit and MOST of us have to see what is possible before we can reach for it.
Once people see that something is possible it makes that success more tangible and it makes it more likely for them to pursue that as an opportunity for themselves as well.
Abundance mindset over scarcity mindset
Instead of looking at someone else’s success as a strike against your own, look at it as the Universe’s way of showing you what’s possible and what you can be in alignment for as well. Look at it as a sneak peek toward what is coming to you.
I’m not talking about envy, by the way. I want to call attention to the fact that jealousy and envy are very energetically different. Envy is a negative sign that you are still living with a scarcity mindset.
Envy is a tell tale sign that you still believe that success is a limited resource, and only so many people can be successful. You feel that someone else’s success, material gain, promotion, engagement, or whatever, robs you of your own. This, is scarcity. “There’s not enough to go around”, “I lack and therefore will never have”, “if she has it, I can’t”.
Unfortunately, society allowed us to believe this narrative for a long time. The patriarchy introduced the concept of a glass ceiling to keep us thinking there was only room for a few at the top. This is also why there are so many women of the older generations who struggle to be inclusive and supportive of younger women.
There is no such thing as not enough success. Just like there is no such thing as running out of love, happiness, or joy either.
The universe doesn’t work that way. The universe is an abundant resource. As many people that want to be successful can be successful. The only reason we aren’t there collectively is because not enough people have embarked on the mindset work and on the energy work to get there. Sure there are people that have achieved success without doing so, but for most of us, we need to do the mindset work.
I think we’re in a new age where so many people are waking up to the concept of manifestation and abundance and that’s why we’re starting to see so much more success. That is why more women are starting to step into entrepreneurism, in politics, as CEOs, or some other career and experience success. We believed enough in ourselves to push forward the women’s suffrage movement in the US, and towards a path of equal pay and opportunity.
If there is a part of you that still believes that success is a limited resource, this is your wake up call to do the work and to assess why you’re still living with a scarcity mindset. Your success is not limited to what is left in the pot because there is no pot. Success is a flowing river. You can have success and so can everyone else around you.
Use jealousy to get clarity
So, it’s okay to be jealous. I think this is a good sign that you intuitively know that you want more, and can do more. Use this to propel you to get clear on WHAT KIND of success you want. Maybe you see that your friend has a successful business and you get jealous… not because you want a business, but maybe because you want to achieve your equivalent which could be a promotion or an engagement or any of the other examples I've given.
I'll never forget when I was still working through what I wanted in life—what I felt called to do. Around that same time, I found out that my neighbor was a wildly successful yogi. Like....international influencer level. And for whatever reason, I remember having a moment of extreme jealousy. But, I couldn't figure out why. She's the nicest person ever and a great neighbor. I was extremely happy for her success, of course, but there was this burning jealousy that simmered beneath that excitement.
Puzzled by my jealousy, I sat down and journaled about it. I think I literally had a moment where I was like "well, I can learn yoga and then ALSO become a successful entrepreneur!" But thankfully, after about 10 minutes of this, I discovered that I 1000% did NOT want to be a yogi.
In fact, that would be quite absurd considering I struggled to enjoy the practice for so long. What this journaling DID tell me, however, was that I was jealous because I KNEW with all my being, that I was meant to be an entrepreneur also. And seeing her success as an entrepreneur made me have to take a look in the mirror. It made my "to become an entrepreneur" check list that sat collecting dust for months, look like a failure. But, it wasn't a failure. It was my opportunity.
Since then, any time jealousy has come up, I've used it as a learning opportunity. What is this scenario trying to teach me? To be very honest with y'all, I decided to start this Podcast after a jealousy exercise. I was listening to another great show and couldn't help but feel jealous! After reflecting, it's because she was doing what I wanted to do. Helping women through manifestation topics. AND, I knew it was something I would really enjoy doing. So, then I had to ask myself, why aren't I doing it? And here we are.
Whatever your success or achievement is defined by, make sure that if you're experiencing it, you use your jealousy to get clear about what you want. Then, you need to come to a place where you are not allowing this jealousy to control the narrative and your manifestation abilities.
Do not create more things for you to be jealous over and work to heal the existing feelings behind that jealousy. Again, it’s never because we don’t wish the other person well (unless it’s a toxic relationship to begin with).
Majority of the time, jealousy happens as a reflection of what we desire for ourselves, but do not yet have. So channel this feeling of jealousy and positively reframe it so we can use it to motivate you to take that next step.
And, actively work to replace jealousy with love and excitement for someone else. Feel their success as your own.
Celebrate other's and their success
Because here is the thing, when you celebrate the success of others, the Universe interprets this energy that you’re exuding as your own success—it’s not distinguishing whether or not it is yours or someone else's. It's only reading that you are on the energetic frequency of excitement and success.
The Universe feels you getting into alignment with joy around success. And what do we know of manifestation and energy work? What you become, you receive. So when you become that happiness and excitement for someone else and their success and achievements that they're proud of, you will receive the same for you because you are getting on that same energetic level.
Use jealousy as a sign that you're on the right path, allow it to give you the clarity you need, but make sure you let it go so that you can continue to move forward.
That is all I have for y'all this week. Have a fantastic week and I will catch y'all next Monday. Until then, go out there and manifest some miracles.
Check out this discussion in podcast form: